RIP Chet

Crime never seemed real to me until it hit so close to home. I'd seen it in the movies, heard about it in the news and was even paranoid that it would happen to me, but it never seemed real, not really. My neighborhood is what I have in the past described as a "sleepy little town." Though on the outskirts of the third biggest city in the country, my neighborhood is usually quiet, and nothing that interesting ever happens. In recent years, we've had some suicides and a gang-related shooting, but major crimes are usually few and far between.

On March 29, 2010, crime became more real to me. The man who lives across the street from me was found stabbed to death. His body was found on a residential street about a mile from my home. He was stabbed to death and found near (or in?) his running car. The police have not released much more information, and I dare not post my speculations like others are doing on the comment section of news websites. My neighbor was so young and will be missed.

In today's post, I'd like to take a few moments to remember my neighbor.

I've known this man for more than five years. My parents guesstimate that he and his wife moved in when I was in seventh grade. Over the years, he became my sister and I's favorite neighbor.

My earliest memory of him was in my freshman or sophomore year of high school. As my mom was leaving to take me to school one morning, we found that my neighbor's car had gotten stuck in the snow outside our house. Although we had barely had any contact with him before, we thought we'd go play superwomen and give him a push. My neighbor, who was a man, felt bad having two women push, so he had my mom "drive" his car while he and I pushed. While my mom was freaking out about his fancy car sliding around in the snow with her in the driver's seat, I slipped in the snow and landed on my hands and knees while trying to push the car. My neighbor freaked out and was like, OMG ARE YOU OK? Haha, of course I was. My mom changed spots with my neighbor, and we got him out of the snow.

So, after that, I started seeing my neighbor more often. He'd always say hi to me and ask me about my life. Usually he'd make a joking comment, like asking me if I was on my way to a party at nine in the morning.

My sister and I found it absolutely hilarious that this neighbor was totally unhandy. As a young man, he should have been capable of mowing his own lawn and shoveling his own snow. Instead, my sister and I found it absolutely hilarious to find landscapers mowing his lawn, his father-in-law watering his lawn, and his wife shoveling his snow. Such incidents earned him the title of lazy in our house (jokingly, of course). It got to the point that my sister and I would give him standing ovations and cheer when he took in his own mail.

Recently, my mom, sister and I watched my neighbor do some gutter work. With the help of his father-in-law, he leaned a ladder against his house and started climbing toward the gutter. Having seen my dad do this hundreds of times, my mom exclaimed that the ladder was not tilted at the proper angle, and that he and the ladder would end up falling backwards. As we three onlookers were torn between recording an "America's Funniest Home Videos" moment or yelling out the window to him, his father-in-law told him to get down, flipped the ladder completely over (apparently it had been upside-down), and began to climb the ladder himself. This, of course, brought on the LOLs as we were amused by my neighbors lack of handyman skills.

The weird part is that I had just seen my neighbor a couple days before he died. We had waved to each other while he was leaving for work and me for school, which happened most mornings anyway. His death hasn't really hit me yet. I found out about the funeral hours after it had ended, so I didn't get my chance to say good-bye. Some days, I still expect to see him around. I just can't believe he's gone.

I hope the police crack the case and catch the person responsible. The sick people in this world hurt so many lives by ending the life of one.

RIP Chet, you will be missed.

Eternal rest grant unto him, o Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon him.

May saints and angels lead you on, escorting you where Chirst has gone.
Amen.

(Photo courtesy of legacy.com)

Just in case I wasn't enough of a freak already, let's add a tiara.

I fell in love with the Princess Diaries back in 2001.
The movie gave me lots of hope, as the clumsy, geeky girl with atypical beauty and nerdy interests becomes a beautiful, graceful (at times) princess.
Later, I fell in love with the book series, clinging to every word in Mia's diary as she went through high school, became a big sister, had her first kiss, FINALLY dated Michael Moscovitz, and had an epic dinner/movie date with him while watching Star Wars.

I saw a lot of me in Mia. Her life wasn't overly dramatic, but it was eventful.
Even as an extremely public figure (past the age of 15), she knew what it was like to feel invisible.

At the same time, she taught me to stand my own ground and be proud of who I am. I can be an individual. I have to like myself, and nobody else's opinion really matters.

Maybe what I really liked about the Princess Diaries was that it brought the childhood dreams of being a princess into the teen years. A more mature fairytale, if you will.

Little did I know, Mia and I have more in common that I could imagine.
I have not been handed the throne to a fictitous country (yet), but I do have some royal blood in me.

According to my mother, her family is descended from King Brian Boru of Ireland.

King Brian is known for ending the High Kingship of Ireland, a government system in which one king ruled over all of Ireland and was aided by lesser kings. He ruled southern Ireland but was also acknowledged as a high king of northern Ireland for a while. King Brian was involved in bloody battles with other kings who disputed his kingship and control of parts of Ireland. He was killed in the Battle of Clontarf on Good Friday, 1014, at the age of 88, according to Wikipedia.

Despite my royal roots, I won't be receiving my tiara.
Brian Boru is said to be one of the most prolific kings in Irish history. So, I share my royalty with countless others.Not to mention that the republic doesn't recognize a king anymore.

Either way, it's still cool to have royalty in the family.

If You Like It, Then You Shoulda Put a Ring on It

"My heartbeat's a jig/and me blood it flows green" -Kiss Me I'm Irish, Gaelic Storm

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I don't care what nationality you are; everyone is Irish today.
So, wear the green, drink up, dance and celebrate this lovely day.

I'm only half Irish, but my mother taught me to be very proud of those roots.
I took Irish dance for three years, and I still fit in my fancy dress, curly wig, and gillies (dance shoes). And, there's something about Irish music that makes me feel good.

I don't speak Gaelic (pog ma thoin), and I've never been to Eire, but I'm still plenty proud of my roots.

The one way I rep it, is with my claddagh ring.
(As do many other people, Irish or not. But hey, everyone's Irish today).

The claddagh ring has been noted as one of the most culturally rich pieces of jewelry ever crafted. According to Kai Silver, the claddagh has a rich history, dating back more than 300 years. The best guess is that the rings came from the small Irish fishing village Claddagh. It bears the symbol of two hands holding a crowned heart. The hands holding the heart represent friendship, the heart represents love, and the crown represents loyalty. Kai Silver sums up the claddagh's message as, "Let Love and Friendship Reign Forever."

The way the ring is worn says something about the wearer.
Married or engaged persons wear the ring on their left hand with the bottom of the heart pointing towards them (because their heart is taken). Those who are in a relationship wear the ring on their right hand in the same fashion.

Those who are single and seeking love wear it on their right hand with the bottom of the heart facing outward (because their heart is open).

My claddagh ring has special significance to me. My grandfather brought it for my mother from Ireland. When she outgrew it, she gave it to me. The ring is so small that it only fits on my pinky fingers, and it's missing the garnet it once bore, but I love it nonetheless. Even though I'm not married, I wear it on my left hand, because I already have my high school class ring on my right hand ring finger, and the two would just clash.

Slainte!

Free Hugs!

A while back, I stumbled upon a Facebook event for a Free Hugs Day. My immediate response was to click "attending" and take full advantage of hugging my friends that day.

For my group of friends, however, hugging is nothing new. The group of people I hung out with in high school used hugs as greetings, to say good-bye, and pretty much whenever we felt it was needed.

This past week, while discussing social norms in my marketing class (of course, this concept doesn't click until the fifth time I studied norms), I realized that my friends and I break a social norm with our friendship ritual. Members of our group come up against this norm all the time. If one group member brings a new person to the group, when it's time to say our good-byes, the ingroup members stand about awkwardly, wondering if they should hug the new person or not. After all, we don't want to scare anyone away.

In fact, one night last summer, I went for a walk with a friend from my high school group and another friend I had known since first grade. At the end of the walk, I said good-bye to the grade school friend and hugged the high school friend and left it at that. I thought about hugging the grade school friend too, but I figured I didnt have that type of relationship with that friend at the time. Months later, the grade school friend recounted the story of that night to me, telling me he or she had wanted a hug too (but was too shy to ask for one).

Out of fear of breaking a social norm, I left out a friend.

Juan Mann of Sydney, Australia is on a mission to make sure nobody is left out.
Mann started a free hugs campaign in 2004 to help others to feel loved and supported. The campaign has a random acts of kindness philosophy and offers hugs to total strangers on public streets.

Although Juan Mann has come up against some legal and social obstacles, the campaign lives on and has since spread around the globe thanks to the following youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

Don't let your friends feel left out.
Hug a pal today!

You can learn more about the Free Hugs Campaign here: www.freehugscampaign.org

It's Centrifugal Motion, It's Perpetual Bliss XOXO

Did you ever wonder why it is that people kiss? Who was the first person to look at another person and think "I wanna swap saliva with him/her"?

According to Sharon K. West's article in Historical Mysteries, most people believe that kissing originated as a primitive eating ritual. Mothers would prechew the food and then spit it into the mouths of their children. Being that this was done from mother to child, this 'kiss' became associated with signs of affection as well as meeting basic human needs.

By 2000 B.C., people believed that kissing joined two souls together (How sweet! But that's some pretty deep commitment). The Ancient Egyptians associated kisses with giving life (ahem, or one thing led to another and....).

According to
anthropologist Vaughn Bryant Jr., the first erotic kiss was exchanged in India around 1500 BC. (Score two for the Indians. They started indoor plumbing, too!)

Over time, kisses became used in many different instances, such as greetings, sealing deals and even betrayal (Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss.).

Russians were the first to incorporate kisses in their marriage ceremonies (changes your view of the Russians, right?).
The French were the first to consider kssing as an acceptable form of courtship (surprise, surprise). The French are also given credit for the French Kiss or "Maraichinage," a long kiss that developed into the erotic, tongue twisting kiss we know and love today.

In honor of Valentine's Day, here are some kissing tips adapted from Seventeen Magazine (December 2009 issue):

1. Make sure your lips are moist. Put on chapstick in advance, so your lips aren't sticky but still moist. Make sure it tastes good too!

2. Start your make-out session with small close-lipped kisses until you can match each other's pace.

3. It's not just in the lips. Use the tongue in creative ways too. You can practice by trying different types of tonguing on your own skin and see what feels good.

4. Add a few more actors to the show. Use your hands to carress your partner's face or hair or even add some sensation by stroking their arms or shoulders.

5. Don't think. Just go with the flow.

6. End the kiss by rubbing your nose against your partner's. It's a sweet way to end the kiss (and I think it's totally adorable!)

And if you feel about guilty about indulging yourself in the kisses (I mean, hey, sometimes you wonder if too much kissing makes the relationship too physical), calm your worries with these great insights into the benefits of kissing from West's article:

1. Kissing sends signals to our brain, which produces oxytocin, a hormone that creates an overall good feeling.

2. According to psychologists, people who kiss their spouse before they go to work miss less work because of illness. Also, people who kiss make 20-30 percent more in wages per month, get in fewer auto accidents and live up to 5 years longer!
(Easier than eating an apple every day, right?)

So, treat your honey good on Valetine's Day.
Impress him or her with your knew knowledge on the history of kissing, please him or her with the simple tips to improve your kissing and enjoy being with each other.

All the best in life and love!

Oh, and don't forget to check out West's article:
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/history_bizarre_mysterious/110045

xoxo

Spread the Love and Tell Her About It

To my dearest boys,
We girls cannot live without you. However, we do want to make it pleasurable to live with you.
Communication between the genders is often difficult. While guys are more visual and express their love through actions, girls are better at understanding the verbal. Girls need to be told how you feel, and told repeatedly.
As hard as we try, we can't get inside your heads. We won't know what's going on if you don't tell us. And, if you neglect to tell us sweet things for a long period of time, we worry that you've changed your minds.
So the best advice I can give to you comes from Billy Joel:

Listen boy
Don't want to see you let a good thing
Slip away

You know I don't like watching
Anybody make the same mistakes
I made

She's a real nice girl
And she's always there for you
But a nice girl wouldn't tell you what you should do

Listen boy
I'm sure that you think you got it all
Under control

You don't want somebody telling you
The way to stay in someone's soul

You're a big boy now
You'll never let her go
But that's just the kind of thing
She ought to know

Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept
That you're for real

Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her
Let her know how much she means

Listen boy
It's not automatically a certain guarantee
To insure yourself
You've got to provide communication constantly

When you love someone
You're always insecure
And there's only one good way
To reassure

Tell her about it
Let her know how much you care
When she can't be with you
Tell her you wish you were there

Tell her about it
Every day before you leave
Pay her some attention
Give her something to believe

Cause now and then
She'll get to worrying
Just because you haven't spoken
For so long
Though you may not have done anything
Will that be a consolation when she's gone

Listen boy
It's good information from a man
Who's made mistakes

Just a word or two that she gets from you
Could be the difference that it makes

She's a trusting soul
She's put her trust in you
But a girl like that won't tell you
What you should do

Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason
To accept that you're for real

Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her
Let her know how much she means

Tell her about it
Tell her how you feel right now
Tell her about it
The girl don't want to wait too long
You got to tell her about it
Tell her now and you won't go wrong
You got to tell her about it
Before it gets too late
You got to tell her about it
You know the girl don't want
To wait--you got to
Tell her about it

Don't worry though, boys. We love you too, and we can't live without you either.

Don't forget, 13 days til Valentine's Day. Make it special for her, and remind her how you feel.

Love Always,
~Passion4Words

I hate Mondays...

And I never even realized it until college. Not that there was anything newly bad with Mondays once i started college. I just found myself saying that more often at that juncture in my life.

Every time I said it, my mom would tell me this story of how, when she had her first job out of college, she carried a tote bag with Garfield the cat on it that read, "I hate Mondays."

Mondays are the rude awakening to the beautiful dream that is my weekend.
Monday means back to the grindstone of classes and work. I wake up every Monday morning saying, "Wait, wasn't it just Friday?"

So, I'm not usually the happiest camper on Mondays.
This past Monday, the first day of my Winter Quarter for the school year, I happened to pick up a free copy of the Chicago Tribune (thank you, College Readership Program). Much to my delight, columnist Barbara Brotman offered me the following ways to fight the Monday/winter blues:

-"Get out of yourself. Get out of your head. Do not ever use the term 'personal happiness' unless you're using it ironically. Happiness is not personal; it's relational. Think of your happiness in terms of relationships with other people -- family, friends, co-workers, strangers or, if you want to be metaphysical, your relationship with the universe."
On that note, I'd like to throw in my own suggestion: share a smile. Smiling releases endorphins and really does make you feel better. Plus, they're contagious.

-"Squelch envy. Envy is the only one of the seven deadly sins that has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. And it is toxic when it comes to happiness."

-"Do not win the lottery. It will not make you happy. Or rather, it will make you happy for a short period, but then you will return to your set point of happiness."

-"Express gratitude on a regular basis. People who express gratitude are happy."
I particularly like this piece of advice. I say thank you a lot to people. I've even thanked people after I help THEM. Crazy right? My friends have told me I say thank you too much. Here's why!

-"You can buy lots of stuff, but don't be materialistic. It's the attitude of being materialistic that makes people less happy."

-"Have sex. People with active sex lives are happier than people without."
Lol, thank you, Barbara!

-"Eat chocolate. It contains chemicals that trigger the release of serotonin in the brain."

-"Combine the last two activities in some way. Messy, but effective."

-"Shorten your commute. People with long commutes are not happy, not only because of the frustrations of commuting but in terms of opportunity costs. Time spent commuting is time spent away from things like forming relationships with people that would make you happy."

-"And don't think about happiness too much. Happiness is a byproduct of life lived well. It is when we try to tackle it head-on that it slips out of our grasp. Don't buy books on happiness. Except for one. And give that to your friends."


You can check out the full article here : http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-talk-brotman-get-happyjan04,0,979874.column

May you find happiness this week :-D!