Wednesday, March 17, 2010

If You Like It, Then You Shoulda Put a Ring on It




"My heartbeat's a jig/and me blood it flows green" -Kiss Me I'm Irish, Gaelic Storm

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I don't care what nationality you are; everyone is Irish today.
So, wear the green, drink up, dance and celebrate this lovely day.

I'm only half Irish, but my mother taught me to be very proud of those roots.
I took Irish dance for three years, and I still fit in my fancy dress, curly wig, and gillies (dance shoes). And, there's something about Irish music that makes me feel good.

I don't speak Gaelic (pog ma thoin), and I've never been to Eire, but I'm still plenty proud of my roots.

The one way I rep it, is with my claddagh ring.
(As do many other people, Irish or not. But hey, everyone's Irish today).

The claddagh ring has been noted as one of the most culturally rich pieces of jewelry ever crafted. According to Kai Silver, the claddagh has a rich history, dating back more than 300 years. The best guess is that the rings came from the small Irish fishing village Claddagh. It bears the symbol of two hands holding a crowned heart. The hands holding the heart represent friendship, the heart represents love, and the crown represents loyalty. Kai Silver sums up the claddagh's message as, "Let Love and Friendship Reign Forever."

The way the ring is worn says something about the wearer.
Married or engaged persons wear the ring on their left hand with the bottom of the heart pointing towards them (because their heart is taken). Those who are in a relationship wear the ring on their right hand in the same fashion.

Those who are single and seeking love wear it on their right hand with the bottom of the heart facing outward (because their heart is open).

My claddagh ring has special significance to me. My grandfather brought it for my mother from Ireland. When she outgrew it, she gave it to me. The ring is so small that it only fits on my pinky fingers, and it's missing the garnet it once bore, but I love it nonetheless. Even though I'm not married, I wear it on my left hand, because I already have my high school class ring on my right hand ring finger, and the two would just clash.

Slainte!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Free Hugs!

A while back, I stumbled upon a Facebook event for a Free Hugs Day. My immediate response was to click "attending" and take full advantage of hugging my friends that day.

For my group of friends, however, hugging is nothing new. The group of people I hung out with in high school used hugs as greetings, to say good-bye, and pretty much whenever we felt it was needed.

This past week, while discussing social norms in my marketing class (of course, this concept doesn't click until the fifth time I studied norms), I realized that my friends and I break a social norm with our friendship ritual. Members of our group come up against this norm all the time. If one group member brings a new person to the group, when it's time to say our good-byes, the ingroup members stand about awkwardly, wondering if they should hug the new person or not. After all, we don't want to scare anyone away.

In fact, one night last summer, I went for a walk with a friend from my high school group and another friend I had known since first grade. At the end of the walk, I said good-bye to the grade school friend and hugged the high school friend and left it at that. I thought about hugging the grade school friend too, but I figured I didnt have that type of relationship with that friend at the time. Months later, the grade school friend recounted the story of that night to me, telling me he or she had wanted a hug too (but was too shy to ask for one).

Out of fear of breaking a social norm, I left out a friend.

Juan Mann of Sydney, Australia is on a mission to make sure nobody is left out.
Mann started a free hugs campaign in 2004 to help others to feel loved and supported. The campaign has a random acts of kindness philosophy and offers hugs to total strangers on public streets.

Although Juan Mann has come up against some legal and social obstacles, the campaign lives on and has since spread around the globe thanks to the following youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

Don't let your friends feel left out.
Hug a pal today!

You can learn more about the Free Hugs Campaign here: www.freehugscampaign.org

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

It's Centrifugal Motion, It's Perpetual Bliss XOXO

Did you ever wonder why it is that people kiss? Who was the first person to look at another person and think "I wanna swap saliva with him/her"?

According to Sharon K. West's article in Historical Mysteries, most people believe that kissing originated as a primitive eating ritual. Mothers would prechew the food and then spit it into the mouths of their children. Being that this was done from mother to child, this 'kiss' became associated with signs of affection as well as meeting basic human needs.

By 2000 B.C., people believed that kissing joined two souls together (How sweet! But that's some pretty deep commitment). The Ancient Egyptians associated kisses with giving life (ahem, or one thing led to another and....).

According to
anthropologist Vaughn Bryant Jr., the first erotic kiss was exchanged in India around 1500 BC. (Score two for the Indians. They started indoor plumbing, too!)

Over time, kisses became used in many different instances, such as greetings, sealing deals and even betrayal (Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss.).

Russians were the first to incorporate kisses in their marriage ceremonies (changes your view of the Russians, right?).
The French were the first to consider kssing as an acceptable form of courtship (surprise, surprise). The French are also given credit for the French Kiss or "Maraichinage," a long kiss that developed into the erotic, tongue twisting kiss we know and love today.

In honor of Valentine's Day, here are some kissing tips adapted from Seventeen Magazine (December 2009 issue):

1. Make sure your lips are moist. Put on chapstick in advance, so your lips aren't sticky but still moist. Make sure it tastes good too!

2. Start your make-out session with small close-lipped kisses until you can match each other's pace.

3. It's not just in the lips. Use the tongue in creative ways too. You can practice by trying different types of tonguing on your own skin and see what feels good.

4. Add a few more actors to the show. Use your hands to carress your partner's face or hair or even add some sensation by stroking their arms or shoulders.

5. Don't think. Just go with the flow.

6. End the kiss by rubbing your nose against your partner's. It's a sweet way to end the kiss (and I think it's totally adorable!)

And if you feel about guilty about indulging yourself in the kisses (I mean, hey, sometimes you wonder if too much kissing makes the relationship too physical), calm your worries with these great insights into the benefits of kissing from West's article:

1. Kissing sends signals to our brain, which produces oxytocin, a hormone that creates an overall good feeling.

2. According to psychologists, people who kiss their spouse before they go to work miss less work because of illness. Also, people who kiss make 20-30 percent more in wages per month, get in fewer auto accidents and live up to 5 years longer!
(Easier than eating an apple every day, right?)

So, treat your honey good on Valetine's Day.
Impress him or her with your knew knowledge on the history of kissing, please him or her with the simple tips to improve your kissing and enjoy being with each other.

All the best in life and love!

Oh, and don't forget to check out West's article:
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/history_bizarre_mysterious/110045

xoxo

Monday, February 1, 2010

Spread the Love and Tell Her About It

To my dearest boys,
We girls cannot live without you. However, we do want to make it pleasurable to live with you.
Communication between the genders is often difficult. While guys are more visual and express their love through actions, girls are better at understanding the verbal. Girls need to be told how you feel, and told repeatedly.
As hard as we try, we can't get inside your heads. We won't know what's going on if you don't tell us. And, if you neglect to tell us sweet things for a long period of time, we worry that you've changed your minds.
So the best advice I can give to you comes from Billy Joel:

Listen boy
Don't want to see you let a good thing
Slip away

You know I don't like watching
Anybody make the same mistakes
I made

She's a real nice girl
And she's always there for you
But a nice girl wouldn't tell you what you should do

Listen boy
I'm sure that you think you got it all
Under control

You don't want somebody telling you
The way to stay in someone's soul

You're a big boy now
You'll never let her go
But that's just the kind of thing
She ought to know

Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept
That you're for real

Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her
Let her know how much she means

Listen boy
It's not automatically a certain guarantee
To insure yourself
You've got to provide communication constantly

When you love someone
You're always insecure
And there's only one good way
To reassure

Tell her about it
Let her know how much you care
When she can't be with you
Tell her you wish you were there

Tell her about it
Every day before you leave
Pay her some attention
Give her something to believe

Cause now and then
She'll get to worrying
Just because you haven't spoken
For so long
Though you may not have done anything
Will that be a consolation when she's gone

Listen boy
It's good information from a man
Who's made mistakes

Just a word or two that she gets from you
Could be the difference that it makes

She's a trusting soul
She's put her trust in you
But a girl like that won't tell you
What you should do

Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason
To accept that you're for real

Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her
Let her know how much she means

Tell her about it
Tell her how you feel right now
Tell her about it
The girl don't want to wait too long
You got to tell her about it
Tell her now and you won't go wrong
You got to tell her about it
Before it gets too late
You got to tell her about it
You know the girl don't want
To wait--you got to
Tell her about it

Don't worry though, boys. We love you too, and we can't live without you either.

Don't forget, 13 days til Valentine's Day. Make it special for her, and remind her how you feel.

Love Always,
~Passion4Words

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I hate Mondays...

And I never even realized it until college. Not that there was anything newly bad with Mondays once i started college. I just found myself saying that more often at that juncture in my life.

Every time I said it, my mom would tell me this story of how, when she had her first job out of college, she carried a tote bag with Garfield the cat on it that read, "I hate Mondays."

Mondays are the rude awakening to the beautiful dream that is my weekend.
Monday means back to the grindstone of classes and work. I wake up every Monday morning saying, "Wait, wasn't it just Friday?"

So, I'm not usually the happiest camper on Mondays.
This past Monday, the first day of my Winter Quarter for the school year, I happened to pick up a free copy of the Chicago Tribune (thank you, College Readership Program). Much to my delight, columnist Barbara Brotman offered me the following ways to fight the Monday/winter blues:

-"Get out of yourself. Get out of your head. Do not ever use the term 'personal happiness' unless you're using it ironically. Happiness is not personal; it's relational. Think of your happiness in terms of relationships with other people -- family, friends, co-workers, strangers or, if you want to be metaphysical, your relationship with the universe."
On that note, I'd like to throw in my own suggestion: share a smile. Smiling releases endorphins and really does make you feel better. Plus, they're contagious.

-"Squelch envy. Envy is the only one of the seven deadly sins that has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. And it is toxic when it comes to happiness."

-"Do not win the lottery. It will not make you happy. Or rather, it will make you happy for a short period, but then you will return to your set point of happiness."

-"Express gratitude on a regular basis. People who express gratitude are happy."
I particularly like this piece of advice. I say thank you a lot to people. I've even thanked people after I help THEM. Crazy right? My friends have told me I say thank you too much. Here's why!

-"You can buy lots of stuff, but don't be materialistic. It's the attitude of being materialistic that makes people less happy."

-"Have sex. People with active sex lives are happier than people without."
Lol, thank you, Barbara!

-"Eat chocolate. It contains chemicals that trigger the release of serotonin in the brain."

-"Combine the last two activities in some way. Messy, but effective."

-"Shorten your commute. People with long commutes are not happy, not only because of the frustrations of commuting but in terms of opportunity costs. Time spent commuting is time spent away from things like forming relationships with people that would make you happy."

-"And don't think about happiness too much. Happiness is a byproduct of life lived well. It is when we try to tackle it head-on that it slips out of our grasp. Don't buy books on happiness. Except for one. And give that to your friends."


You can check out the full article here : http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-talk-brotman-get-happyjan04,0,979874.column

May you find happiness this week :-D!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Gossiping Girl

So, for those of you who read my last post, I don't want you to get the wrong impression of me.

I actually really enjoyed my teenage years. There's so many great memories that I wouldn't trade for the world.

So, to indulge you all, I thought I'd leave some gossip about myself in my teenage years, sort of as a memoir.

Let's start at the very beginning (a very good place to start).

I was thirteen when I got my first 'boyfriend.' I still remember our first date pretty vividly. We went to see Grind, a skateboarding movie with Adam Brody that I thought would be a lot more amusing, at a small theater by our house. Brilliant me decided that we should get there half an hour early. So, because the movie theater wasn't exactly up with the times, it didn't bother to show ads or puzzles prior to the previews. So, my date and I sat in the dark screening room for half an hour while I searched my brain for engaging conversation topics (to little avail). Awkward experience- slightly. Still, it was a good learning experience for me. I learned to be prepared to make conversation on any date.

For those of you wondering, I actually did have a great time with this guy. The 'relationship' didn't last (surprise, surprise, since we were so young), but to this day, he's still one of my best friends. (lol, and he'll probably smack me for writing about him :-P)

I was fourteen when I started high school. I definitely did not like it in the beginning, but I leared to love it. I really grew and learned a lot about myself in high school. I found some great friends and had some great times. I still miss my high school and my related activities. I was one of those kids who was super involved, from Marching Band to NHS to serving as president of WYSE (Worldwide Youth in Science and Engineering, similar to an academic team). Being involved really helped me to feel as though I was part of the community, and I made some great friends and memories.

When I was fifteen, I took driver's ed. Probably one of the scariest experiences of my life. I did not see any reason to put my uncoordinated self behind the wheel of a four-wheeled death machine. In my first couple days at range, when we were learning how to drive the car in reverse, I backed the car up over the curb. My instructor was pissed and watched me like a hawk from then on. I did manage to pass driver's ed, however, and I'm a pretty decent driver (knock on wood).

I was the girl who turned sweet sixteen and was never kissed. Did that drive me nuts? Absolutely! I was totally boy crazy. My most prominent memories from that age are about fighting over boys with other girls. Not that I won any of those fights.

Seventeen was an exciting age for me. I had a car, money from a part-time job, and my legal curfew was midnight on weekends. I felt like the world was my sandbox (yes, I just quoted Rugrats), and I played in it all weekend long with my friends. This was probably my most social experience in my life. Thursday nites were always spent planning for Fridays and Saturdays. I don't even wanna think about how much money I wasted, but it was good times.

Turning legal was not celebrated as scandalously as I would have hoped. I still have not purchased porn or been to a strip club. I bought a lottery ticket on my 18th birthday (the guy almost didn't sell it to me, either!), and I've bought maybe one other one since. I'm such a good girl :-P
That year had lots of other fun moments, though. I went to two senior proms (one with my bestie and one with my current boyfriend), gave a pretty awesome valedictorian speech at my graduation, and started college (finally, classes with boys again!)

Nineteen was finally the age at which I did all the stuff I should have done before I hit Sweet Sixteen.I got my first real boyfriend, my first kiss, and all that fun stuff. This was definitely the highlight of age 19 for me. It was the perfect finale for my teen years.

Now that I'm a few weeks into being 20, I'm realizing it's not as bad as I had anticipated. I don't feel all that old. In fact, I'm just as immature as I was a few weeks (and years) ago. A couple weeks ago, I was skipping- yes skipping- down my driveway and singing. My sister was like, "How are you 20?"

I definitely loved my teen years, but I'm determined not to let the fun die down. Here's to the next decade!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I Love Teenagers

That's kind of a bold statement, isn't it?

Maybe it isn't love so much as an understanding though. They're not as bad as everyone makes them out to be. They're just misunderstood.

In my last days as a teenager, I feel the need to make this rant: It's not easy being teen.

Seriously, teenagers are probably the most looked down upon age group in society. It feels like EVERYONE is out to get you. Most people have this notion that because you're in that age group, you're automatically up to no good.

I've had friends stopped by the cops for doing nothing illegal. We're just an age group to harass as a 'preventative measure.' It seems like more than enough adults are ready to combat this menace to society. Sadly, most of us don't do anything about the crappy treatment. We just take it.

I recently dealt with some adults about a harassment situation. I played by the rules, went through the proper channels and presented my case the adult way. Their advice to me was to put up and shut up. Because I'm a teenager, I'm supposed to put up with discrimination and not say anything about it. I'm supposed to be naive and not realize that I'm being slighted. Really? I feel like if I was ten years older, people would take me seriously, and the advice would not be to shut up and take it.

Being one who is easily offended, I often took note of when adults treated my friends and I differently for being teens.

After band in high school, my hungry friends and I used to frequent local restaurants. I spent so many nights waiting a half an hour or more to be seated in an empty restaurant. To top it off, the manager had the nerve to threaten to throw my group out if we weren't quiet while in the waiting area. On more than one occassion, I was ready to have a throwdown with the manager. Seriously, if you sat us at a table and gave us some food, we'd keep quiet, and everyone would be happy. Is that so hard?

But again, I feel like if my friends and I were just ten years older, we'd be treated a bit differently.

Speaking of throwdowns, I actually did have one with a lady at church once. The woman had the gall to sit there and tell me that because I am a teenager, I obviously couldn't know as much as she did. My response: Oh no you didn't! I earned myself the brand of disobedient and rude teen that day for standing up for myself. But to be fair, the adult started it :-P

It's interesting to see the teen situation from the other side of the fence. I recently got a job for the holidays at a suburban mall. On every shift, I get to deal with my fair share of high school students. When I was in high school, I learned to tune out obnoxious girls, so I usually don't notice them approaching until my manager groans. Although I've never had a problem with any of the teenagers I've encountered at work, my manager and coworkers can usually find something negative to say about even the sweetest teenager that comes by. Why? Because they are teenagers.
When I come to their defense, my coworkers tell me I'm too nice and willing to put up with people. That's when I argue that I've been there, done that and bought that t-shirt. And now I'm gonna flaunt it.

Most adults who know me don't believe that I'm capable of being a 'typical' teenager. People believe I can't be moody or rowdy. It's the people who don't know me that are the problem. To them, I'm probably just a disrespectful person who will make a scene, create a mess and not leave a tip.

While I'll admit there's some bad eggs among us, don't let the bad ones spoil it for all of us. There's good in us. The groups of people I hung out with high school and those I continue to hang out with are great people. We'll leave generous tips, respond to you politely and sometimes even be more mature than the average adult.

We're people, just in a different packaging than those who are respected in society. Most of us probably wouldn't do anything an adult wouldn't do anyway.

The funny part is, any adult who looks down on a teenager was probably just as bad or worse than the poor soul he or she is scorning. I've heard stories from adults reminiscing about their wild high school and college days and wondered how they can scorn someone else for trying to have fun.

My theory is that these once fun-loving teens turned into hypocritical adults because they didn't care that they were mistreated as teens. That's the kind of stuff in life you just let go. If you're not being hauled off to jail, you shouldn't let a grouchy adult spoil your fun. Or, maybe most teens just don't notice that adult in the corner giving them the evil eye at all. Life IS more painless when you're brainless, after all.

I, for one, hope I won't turn into that.

So teens, know that people do love you. Have your fun, but be polite about it. Don't give them the chance to judge you.
If any of you are a cynic, like me, know that your consolation will be that you can do this to the next group of teens in a couple of years anyway.

Adults (if any of you read this), remember what it was like to be a teen. In most cases, there's no ill intentions. Let them have their fun. Or, maybe consider adopting the age-old addage, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!


P.S.- Thanks Kristy & Luis for motivating me to update :-)